8.03.2006

Motivational Posters Round 2





Motivational Posters Round 1






grr.

That is, here they would be, if blogger would actually accept the photos. I'll keep trying to get them up. In the meantime, play around with the generator yourself, and feel free to email me funny pics worthy of being used.

downshift

And after all of that, I believe I am going to start off on a somewhat lighter note.
Or so it would appear. Do you know what motivational posters are? The black-bordered images of soaring eagles and sunset-lit mountains, with some inspirational word in large capital letters beneath the photo and, beneath that, an enlightened fortune-cookie-esque piece of confucian (pronounced "confusion") wisdom. Quite the fad there for a few years in offices across the nation. Now, have you been to www.despair.com
to see their amusing line of "demotivational posters" which you can order and place on various products. Quite amusing and all too often accurate. Ah, but it gets better, my friends! For I stumbled upon a site which lets you generate your own motivational posters! That's right, upload a photo, write your "word of power", and throw down a caption, and one "digitizing your wisdom, o great one" later, you have your very own piece of wisdom, humor, sarcasm, or just plain vitriol which you can download as an image or even order online as a print (for something like $12). I'm liking this as a possibility for Christmas presents. At any rate, here are the ones I've made so far, mainly with images gleaned from various websites. Enjoy! Or not. If you're offended, I've done my job. Just stop and honestly ask yourself why you're so offended. You might learn something.

8.02.2006

Introduction

To whom it may concern;

As this is my first attempt at a "blog", I wish to begin by clearing up any possible future misunderstandings. What I write here, what I post here, whom I link to and whom I endorse may at various times amuse you, exhort you, instruct you, titillate you, comfort you, or please you. I assure you, such effects will be strictly accidental on my part.

However, I sincerely hope I offend you.

Undoubtedly there will be those who make it as far as that last line and leave. Or continue reading on, having already made up their minds to distrust or even despise a man so antisocial, so unkind, so rude as to seek offence against others. Good riddance to them (first group) or you (second group). To the rest of you, welcome and good luck. I am antisocial. I am unkind. I am often rude, and I am not a people person. However, inasmuch as I hate people, this is not why I desire to offend you.

This is my final winnowing of you, my dear readers, before the excrement truly impacts the impeller. I am a Christian. I am a son of the Living God. I am a disciple of Jesus the Christ, who is the Word of God incarnate. I desire to offend you because God desires to offend you. To the reprobate, God has described Jesus as a "stumbling stone and a rock of offense". To the saint, the Holy Spirit is bringing constant reminder that sanctification is an ongoing process. There are no other categories. Offence is universal.

Lest you misunderstand, I really do hate people. However, my God is perfect compassion even as He is perfect wrath, and as I, among all people worthy of being hated, have been shown mercy and grace undue, I ought do no less. In aspiring to offend, I desire not to insult but, rather, to challenge. I desire to lay aside the trappings of pride and comfort in favor of unmitigated truth. So this becomes my prayer: That my words of offence, that your honest and discerning mind, and that the working of the Holy Spirit would here amalgamate for the purpose of bringing glory to God most high. Kyrie Eleison!

Ravus Caelum