5.21.2007

Something Different (2)

More demotivational posters are in the works. . .hopefully I'll get them posted within the week. Ere then I have some other things which need to be posted. A poem which I found which I think a few of you will appreciate, a drinking song which I wrote which I know many of you will get a kick out of, and one or two other things. Enjoy, and (as always) comment.

Drinking Song:

Olde Sacred Heart


Well, for forty years and forty more my mum (God bless her heart)

has faithfully parishoned at Our Savior's Sacred Heart,

through bishops, priests and rectors, through confessions, lent, and mass,

more permanent a fixture than the chapel's lead-stained glass.


But me, I've got more wanderlust than Heaven should permit,

and every chance to travel has me chomping at the bit.

And, though my mum may still be found interred at Sacred Heart,

it wasn't very long before this pilgrim did depart.


I was christened at Saint Peter's and was baptized at Saint Paul's,

confirmed in good Saint Christopher's revered and hallowed halls.

I married in Saint Mary's and, upon the day I die,

beneath the stones of Benedict's is where my corpse will lie.


I've taken of the Eucharist in seventeen Assumptions

and genuflected in two score Immaculate Conceptions.

I've crossed myself in Holy Cross in seven diocese,

said pater noster at twelve sets of Queen of Heaven's knees.


Saint Paddy's in Chicago and Saint Paddy's in New York,

Saint James' in bonnie London-town, Saint Augustine's in Cork,

Saint Wenceslaus, Saint Boniface, Saint Bridgette's and Saint Joe's,

Saint Francis of Assisi and the Abbey of Ambrose.


Of Matthew, Mark, and Luke, and John, a score of ten apiece,

full thirty Notre Dames (of those but two Our Lady Peace).

Confessed at nine Annunciates and blessed at six Saint Anne's,

in five Saint Michaels fondled every relic that you can.


Immanuels are plentiful, in eight I've said Hail Marys.

In three Saint Cyril's I've received indulgence quite plenary.

I've thirty rosaries, one from each Saint Teresa seen,

and in Saint Tom Aquinas on six continents I've been.


Basilicas, cathedrals, monasteries, chapels, shrines,

and every country parish that would serve me bread and wine.

I've gone as far and wide as any faithful pilgrim can,

for all my years you know I've been a Roamin' Catholic man!



- Ravus Caelum

note: for anyone who's interested, the intended tune is "Seven Deadly Sins" by Flogging Molly

Something Different

More demotivational posters are in the works. . .hopefully I'll get them posted within the week. Ere then I have some other things which need to be posted. A poem which I found which I think a few of you will appreciate, a drinking song which I wrote which I know many of you will get a kick out of, and one or two other things. Enjoy, and (as always) comment.

The Edge of Mercy


If vengeance be Thy sovereign right alone,

most sovereign God, on highest spheres enthroned,

cast forth Thine hand, spend earnèd wrath in whole;

no longer test and try my vexèd soul.

Thine enemies, and mine, swagger arrayed

in blasphemies of Thy great Name betrayed,

against my soul adorned in mockery,

and swathed in self-assigned sublimity.


And, yet, by Thine inviolate command

of mercy, stayest Thou my dreadnaught hand.

They ravish grace, they howl and plead for Hell,

but bidest Thou, and bid me bide as well.

Though judgment is, upon Thy lips, an oath

they guzzle nectars bled from sundered troth.

Thy words of justice taste to me as ash

as saints, by reprobates, are strewn and dashed.


If mercy be Thy plea, consider these:

saints, martyred, 'neath Thine altar, unappeased,

who cry “How long ere Thou avenge, O Lord?”,

their solace in the promise of Thy sword.

As they, so do I yearn to see Thine arm

uphold Thy crownèd Name from sland'rous harm,

guard jealously Thy Maiden's virgin bloom,

wreak havoc on twice-treas'nous souls, their doom.


For Thou will judge: Thou promised ere Thou must.

I cling to this though arms and armor rust:

Thou, Christ, the Lamb by whom my sin was borne

must never suffer twice such grievous scorn.

Despising scorn, contemning every shame,

Thou will display the terror of Thy Name,

Thine heav'nly host distending spheres of sky,

triumphant battle-banner hoisted high!


But, now until that day, I must endure

damnable filth slung 'pon Thee, wholly pure.

So, impotent, my broken, shadowed heart

grasps, mad, as glory's echoes dim, depart.

Thy Kingdom come, and leave no place to flee.

Thy will be done, spare none which disagree.

This bond-slave first: search every hidden thing.

This bond-slave holds no fear of judgment's sting.


4.17.2007

Motivational Posters Round 25






New Demotivators! Yay! Or groan, depending on your point of view, I suppose. Two quick notes: First, my apologies to St. Patrick. Second, for those of you who might feel uncomfortable about the picture used for my porn demotivator, I assure you that it is an image of four fully clothed individuals skillfully pixilated for me by the ever-reliable Mr. Schulteis. No pornography was viewed in the making of this demotivational picture.

As always, ever, and anon, please leave comments. Feel free to share me with your friends (yes, that was a shameless plug. I'm looking forward to breaking 20 comments on a post someday).

More to come. . .sometime. . . .take it easy, and enjoy the weather!

3.21.2007

Motivational Posters Round 24






Okay, so I apologize for the excessive time between posts. I've been busy and sometimes creativity doesn't turn on when you want it to. It took a lot of trial and error to get the wordings as they are now. That being said, I reserve the right to tweak the wording on any of these in the future. *chuckle*
As always, please leave a comment, an opinion, a greeting, something. I get depressed when I only get two comments on an entire post :)
Happy St. Paddy's Day to you all, and I'll try and get more up sooner next time.
(Oh, and for those of you keeping count, this post should break 100 De-motivational posters - that's gotta be some sort of achievement :) )

1.29.2007

Motivational Poster Round 23






As always, gimme feedback on what you see here. Leave comments! Give ideas! Props, jeers, confusion? Leave 'em. Have a great day, and enjoy!

1.17.2007

Motivational Posters Round 22






As always, please comment on these. Shown them to your friends. Send the link to everybody in your IM list :) Generate some traffic for me. Or at the very least, comment.

1.06.2007

Motivational Posters Round 21






Hey, everyone! Back with more, as promised. Be kind to me and post your comments, positive or negative, great or small, first time or twentieth. Looking forward to hearing from you! As always, if you have ideas, words or concepts you'd like to see treated in this fashion, feel free to share them with me. Special thanks in this round to Steven Schulteis for a bit 'o last-minute inspiration! Enjoy!